Why ask why?
I’m finding myself asking “why?” about a lot of things lately. Why am I doing _________? Why am I choosing this for my kids? Why am I worrying? Why are we in the town we’re in, and does it matter? Why write? Why reach out? Why endure? And the why list never ends, of course.
As annoying as it is when my tots ask over… and over… and over again “But why?” – I’m realizing I ask it quite frequently also! Hmm, go figure.
A dear, dear mentor taught me to ask myself *why am I doing what I’m doing* in pretty much all aspects of life. Not in the questioning God kind of why, but questioning my own motives behind my decisions.
Do we do things/make decisions based on healthy, thought-out, maybe even well researched processes? I know I didn’t always used to. I didn’t think twice to even consider it. After all – why ask why? Right?
But I’ve learned over recent years to always ask why. You learn a lot this way about what motivates you, what your focus is on, and does x,y, and z line up with your values and what you want to convey to others through your actions.
I’ve learned to ask: Am I doing this because…
– it’s what everyone else does ???
– I would never fathom doing it differently ???
– why question authority figures (doctors, speakers, leaders, those we put on pedestals. ..) ???
– I honestly don’t know my other options ???
– I’m scared ??? Out of fear ???
– a friend said I’ll regret if I don’t ???
– that’s how my parents handled things ???
– I prayed long and hard about it.
– I researched every side of this, pro’s and con’s
– I went to someone whom I truly trust and asked their opinion/wisdom
– I knew it was the right thing to do, even if I stuck out like a sore thumb or went against tradition
– I knew it would stretch me, challenge me spiritually, force me out of a comfort zone
– it’s in the best interest of my child, my family
– it pleases God, not man
Do you see the difference? Of course. I’m sure it’s blatantly obvious. But I can’t say that the second list is what I automatically cycle through my thought process before doing things or making decisions. It should be, but it takes creating that thought process first. Then forming it into habit. It’s learned.
I have to constantly remind myself of this (yes, I say this often). And I’m so thankful someone taught me how to ask why.
Why ask why? …Because I said so. :)
Link over to Message in a Mason Jar for discussion on Darcy’s Gift from the Sea summer book club (week 2). You can jump in any time. Join us!